A Tale of the Cosmos

Tom’s Toyota rumbled plaintively as they turned onto the pruned dirt road. He forgot to tell Theo that the exhaust was fucked and grumbled like a pissed off bull in the middle of a herd of cycling cows. Cops would eventually tire of the piece of shit car and pull it over just to tow it for faulty equipment.

“Wish you got a different fuckin’ car man.” Theo said to Tom, his voice whinier than he intended.

“Stop yer bitchin’ man, it getting us there ain’t it?” Tom was focused on driving but his fingers were thumping against the steering wheel impatiently. Dude was jonesing hard and Theo just hoped he could keep it together till they got to where they were going.

“Who you said is buyin’ this stuff?” Theo asked. Wasn’t often he didn’t know who he was dealing with, though that wasn’t always a bad thing. People who were willing to buy filched tools were few and far between. Birds of a feather and all that.

“Ain’t buyin’ man, we tradin’,” he said excitedly.

“K, who we tradin’ with,” Theo replied, exasperated with his friend’s casual approach to crime.

“Guy named Jack Harlow, he owns that orchard just over here.”

Theo shot a glance at Tom, “You talkin’ ‘bout the one that sits on top of a fuckin’ cemetery? Uh, wassit it called?” Theo thought for a second, “Last Stop Orchard?”

“Yeh, thassit man.”

Theo giggled a bit, exhaling hard through his nose, “Dude, ain’t that a bit fucked? Like, you name your orchard ‘Last Stop’ and ya set up on top of a graveyard?”

Tom grimaced and shook his head, almost incredulous, “Man you got a wild imagination, he named it that cuz its that last place before the ferry.” He was now snickering at Theo, “Like damn, dude, its jes a cemetery, not like any of that shit matters.”

Theo nodded, trying to ignore Tom’s condescending tone, “Yeah, but…” he paused and looked out his window. “It jes creeps me out, man.”

Tom shook his head and giggled again, “Fuckin’ big bad Theodore Robinson, scared uh some trees on top uh dead people.” Theo ignored him and continued staring out the window. Vermont pastures, brown with freshly spread manure, were framed by trees waning on the cusp of barren branches. Here and there the crinkly leaves that made up the cascading blazes of autumnal foliage held on, but most were now brown and rotting on the ground. The dirt road coughed up a coiling cloud of dust behind the Toyota and Theodore was forced to roll up his window.

It wasn’t long before they got to the orchard. The place was nice, if a little too bougie for Theo. The massive farmhouse was freshly sided with crisp-looking wooden panels. A gravel u-shaped driveway connected two separate dirt roads and followed a white picket fence along the inside of the property. There were apple trees rolling in between the hills for acres. The crooked branches and twisted trunks formed neat rows of contorted bark. Behind the white picket fence three older Vermonter’s sat on a thickly lacquered picnic table. Each wore matching flannel jackets and different colors of Dickie’s work pants.

Theo knew Jack Harlow from high school. Guy used to drive bus for the county. His tight white beard had grown into a thick mess of yellowed silver beard hair. Where there once was a tight crew cut sat shoulder length hair also that disgusting mess of yellowed silver.

Both Theo and Tom stepped out of the car at the same time, both clutching their respective bags as if they held gold bars. Jack smiled at the two, “Hell, if it ain’t Tom and Theo, the ole troublemakers. How you boys doin?” His voice was smooth and deep and solicited a memory that Theo couldn’t quite remember.

Tom smiled, “Oh its goin’ great, how you doin’, Jack?” Theo eyed the other two men Jack had with him. He didn’t recognize them.

Jack turned and said something to the two men quietly. They both crossed their chests with a right index finger once, then stood up and left. “Ah, it’s goin, an’ if it were goin’ any faster I’d prolly be dead.” Jack said.

Theo turned to watch the other two men stalk off into the orchard. He swore one of them gave him the stink eye as they walked by. “Who were they?” he asked, curiosity and something else burning the back of his mind.

“Ah, jes a couple uh guys I hired up this year. Good workers them, they understand ya gotta give love to livn’ things, ya know?” Jack replied, his smile wide and almost uncomfortably white. Seriously, the contrast between this guy’s stained and nasty beard and his perfect teeth must have startled even Tom who was oblivious to everything.

“Well,” Tom said, looking around to make sure the coast was clear, “ready to do some business?”

Jack’s smile grew wider and he spread his arms out. The motion made him look massive, and Theo was sure the man’s shoulders were made of granite. “Hell yeah, boys, been needin’  refresh on my tools.” He paused and stroked his neck, “Hell, ya know what, why doncha follow me? I got somethin’ I think yer gonna like.”

Tom said something inane and followed Jack as he turned to walk behind the massive farmhouse. Theo followed after but couldn’t ignore a growing whisper in his head. It was like his body was telling him he was in danger. That something about the idyllic orchard just wasn’t right. He thought it had something to do with Jack Harlow. Why couldn’t Theo remember what happened on the school bus when Jack was fired? Why couldn’t he remember seeing Jack at all after that? And who were those guys who crossed their chests? Theo thought he’d seen it before but couldn’t quite put his finger on it.

The back of the farmhouse was similar to the front. A beautiful brick porch was buttressed by carefully manicured gardens. A massive stone chimney sat in the center of a semi-circle of green Adirondack chairs and an expensive looking smoker sat opposite that. But it wasn’t the trapping of wealth or success that drew Theo’s attention, no, it was the peculiar shed tucked into the forest.

It was framed by a barbwire fence and left to grow over. Thick brown weeds stood shoulder height and the once red wooden panels were stained green by constant plant overgrowth. The only windows that Theo could see were two long, thick lines on the front of the building; they were more like cellar windows than real windows. Theo glanced around and realized the structure was perfectly hidden from the road and even hidden from aerial photos. The orchard’s success became more clear to him. They were lying, stealing, and manipulating just like everyone else. Only they were better at it.

“Aight, boys, lemme see whachu got.” Jack was suddenly serious and his bright blue eyes were affixed on their bags. Theo’s alarm bells went off again. It just didn’t make any sense. This guy had money and he was trading heroin for stolen tools?

Tom quickly opened his, “Well, I got lots uh good stuff. I found this brand new ratchet set right next to these clamp things I ain’t never seen before. And uh, oh yeah all these screwdrivers and uh… stuff like that. I think some uh this helps with electric too.” Tom was talking fast. He was letting his desperation out.

Theo crossed his arms, “Look Jack, ain’t that I don’t trust ya, but can we see the stuff first?”

Jack sneered at Theo, his amiable disposition gone, “You boys are sittin’ here with stolen tools and yer askin’ me where mah stuff is?”

Tom licked his lips and looked up nervously, “Ain’t that Jack, we jes ain’t had none in awhile and our last guy got pinched.”

Theo put up his hands to seem non-threatening, “Jes that, Jack. If we’re doin a flat out trade instead uh getting’ cash we jes wanna see it.”

Jack suddenly smiled, “Tom, ya didn’t tell me ya were up for tradin’”

Tom smiled and stood up, wiping his hands on his pants, “Yeah, I mean, ya said ya could get more stuff for us that way and uh… me an’ Theo here got cash to live. We jes ain’t go no juice.”

“Theo,” Jack said, “mind openin’ yer bag so I can see whachu got? Ya know, for a fair deal an all?”

Theo did as he was asked, narrating what was inside as he picked through the backpack. Jack seemed more impressed with Theo’s take than he did Tom, but then again that didn’t surprise Theo. He loved the guy more than he cared to admit, but Tom was an idiot.

“I’ll tell ya what, wait right here.” Jack said as he turned away and pulled a key from the lanyard at his waist. Theo watched the old man open the gate with three different keys and three different padlocks. He then moved to the steel door perched between those peculiar windows. That one only had one lock, but Theo thought he saw Jack cover something with his hand, as if there were a key pad as well.

Jack was only gone long enough for Theo to shift nervously in his shoes. His feet suddenly killed him and he yearned to sit down and watch something stupid. Jack returned with a single wrapped plastic mound and two bottles in his hand. Theo blinked once and realized they were bottles of apple cider.

“Aight boys, you leave those right there, I’ll take care of them. Now trust me when I say I jes took care uh ya. This here’s gotta be worth double on the street,” he lifted the hand with the plastic mound, “and this,” he lifted up the two bottles of cider, “is fuckin’ amazing while high.”

Theodore forgot his concerns when he saw the plastic mound. He and Tom could get high for weeks with that much. “Oh and if ya ever need more,” Jack said, “I got more jobs for ya.”